The Adventures of Jadon and Kalina: Uncle Jerry

On November 17, 2013, my dear Uncle Jerry left this world. He was just 66 years young and he was my Dad’s younger brother.

His decline in the prior months came as a surprise to us. This past summer, Uncle Jerry had decided to move from the family house into a retirement community. He seemed to be looking forward to the move and the chance to have some more company. With the help of some relatives, especially my mom, he made his way through all the belongings in the house. My mom spent two weeks helping him sort, clean and pack. He drove himself to his new place on July 20. A few short days later, he was a different person.

He quickly declined over the next months. His conversations started to make less and less sense. He lost the ability to take care of himself. He went to several doctors and specialists and no one could really say why he was experiencing such a rapid decline. We knew he had Parkinson’s but this seemed to be more than that.

Finally a doctor told my parents that he seemed to be experiencing a case of rapid on-set dementia. The doctor was able to tell him that what he had lost, mentally and physically, would not be regained. As hard as this was to hear, they finally had an answer. Uncle Jerry spent his final days in hospice care. Now, he is forever at peace.

My dad and mom were faithful in caring for him until the end. They visited him daily. My mom would just sit with him and write or read for hours while my Dad was at work. He still recognized her and my dad, and their voices. Even when he couldn’t open his eyes, he knew they were there. They spent his last days with him, only leaving to sleep or to get something to eat.

My sister recalled him a one of the sweetest people you could know. We can’t remember him ever saying one mean word or doing one unthoughtful thing. He was the caregiver for both his parents (my grandparents) and always put others first.

Due to some family travel, his memorial was not until December14. This was a huge blessing for us. When I looked at getting tickets, I realized they were not expensive so we all took a quick trip to Illinois. We left Friday morning and returned Sunday night.

Uncle Jerry had always wanted to have a big family reunion with my aunt, uncle, three cousins and families, my parents, siblings and families. We were not able to do this while he was with us, but we were able to all gather to celebrate his life. The last time I was all my cousins was 7 years ago, at my grandmother’s funeral. They all got to meet Kalina and we got to meet 4 new children of my cousins. Jadon and Kalina enjoyed meeting all their “new cousins” (Jadon did not remember seeing them so long ago). It was a sad occasion but a joyous gathering.

My family, especially my sister, helped plan and arrange a beautiful visitation on Friday evening and service on Saturday morning. Some extended family members came and some of Uncle Jerry’s friends.

It snowed Friday night. It made everything seem more beautiful before the service on Saturday morning.

I have fond memories of Uncle Jerry from my childhood. I love the memories of him holding Kalina and doing look and find books with her and my Dad. He liked to talk to Jadon and was always interested in what he was doing. I think he would love that he is in band. We didn’t see him much the past few years but we will miss him.

Before we left, we saw Andy’s parents for lunch on Sunday.

It was a quick trip but so worth the effort.